If your ex doesn’t get them from the new person, it could cause problems in their new relationship. Those are the only two ways for growth to happen. It’s sad that the second way motivates people way more often and creates better results than the first one. But that’s because a need to grow doesn’t feel good and forces people to change something about themselves. Sure, people mature a bit with age and time, but not a whole lot.
It allows you to make the right decisions concerning the situation and does not allow your ex to interfere, have an impact, or define your quality of life. Children are important, and if you are a step-parent to your partner’s children from a previous relationship, that is great. Parenting discussions need to be between the parents of the children. It seems that many people think they have to keep communication lines open with their ex or partner’s ex. Some think they have to try and be friends, even when the process comes with endless stress. You must allow your partner to succeed and gain your approval.
Dealing with a controlling ex-husband or wife can be exhausting and draining. Seeking therapy or counselling can help to guide you, give you coping strategies, and support your self-care. Also remember, there are two sides, two realities to every story. If you or your partner are starting to listen to the bad things that your exes have to say about you, this is an indication of holes in your relationship with your partner.
Of course a collaborative co-parenting partnership is best for children. But it’s not always possible, especially when wounds are fresh. If you repeatedly extend olive branches only to have them chopped off, set on fire, and thrown back in your face- it’s time to reassess your strategy of relentless optimism. A sociopath mother could bequeath her behavior to one or two of her children. If you want to renew relations with a partner with whom you have children, your decision must be clear.
You have to continue to put the effort in to manage them well and make for a happy union. Seeking support and help with your relationship is a good idea. Many happy marriages have a mentor or therapist to help build a foundation, connection, and offer strategies.
From Our Partners
There are many problems that occur when idolization enters a relationship, but one of them that surfaces in situations of divorce is that people forget the problems of the relationship. They forget everything that they did not like about the relationship and behave as if the ending of the marriage is a surprise. If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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Boy, that did not sit well with her and straight away an argument broke out in the middle of the night, she tells me she is done for good and we are not getting back together. That she is tired of being treated like a child, and that our candle has burnt out. I couldnt belive it, this had to be a dream right …..but unfortunately it wasnt.
Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought
What better way is there than to create high-conflict situations. It can be anything with the sole purpose of killing your good mood. As a general rule, the ex-wife causes drama as retaliation for her own sense of loss.
There comes a point where the hurtful words hits you hard and you’re tempted to lash back out at your ex. When the temptation arises, step away from the computer or your phone or whatever device your ex used to contact you and take a few deep breaths. You know that retaliating and giving your ex a taste of their own medicine means stooping down to their level.
Recognize that your partner and their ex are raising a child and it’s in the child’s best interest for the parents to get along. While these kinds of relationships can invite jealousy, remind yourself that your partner being friends with their ex is likely what’s best for the child. If your partner’s relationship with their ex bothers you, say something. If your partner is attentive to your needs and respects any boundaries you agree upon, great. If your partner agrees then ends up continually talking to their ex, this may be a problem.
Couple months go by and I finally cave and looked thru his phone I read thru all their messages and oh boy that was the most pain and betrayal I’ve ever felt in my life. I kept quiet and kept reading their txt everyday until the month he went to AZ to see his family after we got in a car accident where he totaled the car . 2 weeks went by and I rlly missed him and he told me I can come EthiopianPersonals if I want to so I got the ticket for the next morning. I look at his location that night and he was in flag and wasn’t answering my stomach was sick the whole way there. He was late to pick me up and when he got me to the hotel and knocked straight out I checked again. He secretly met with her over dinner that night and had just left her house that morning after he got her coffee.
Find a Therapist
Perhaps he’s trying to avoid conflict and just keep the peace. Perhaps this is how their relationships has always been. The bad news is, in many cases this is actually an issue with your husband. I have tried reaching out to her parents and friendz and they all tell me to leave her and let her have her moment. She did not want to sit down with me and her parents together, she had her own meeting with them so not sure what she told them or what they said to her.
For starters, make sure those children come first considering you and your wife are not together to make a healthy marriage. There seem to be so many issues here and I think a counselor is needed in this case. You can ask her to see a counselor with you as friends. This is to ensure the best treatment for the children. If you do, you may be able to sort out many of these problems.