Well, this totally depends on you and your feelings. If you have gotten over your ex and probably are happy with the way your life is after the breakup, then you can give the green signal to your friend. However, if the situation is opposite and you still love your ex, then probably your friend must avoid dating your ex. Work on yourself, become the best version of yourself and break old patterns to be able to foster more wholesome relationships in the future. This is unfair to everyone involved, most of all you.
Okay, he’s not my best friend, but I still want her back! I love her!
So if you want to live in fantasy land, go ahead. Look in the mirror honestly and stop trying to make excuses for your behavior. You and he will NEVER be the victims- Karma will get you in some form or another and that’s on YOU.
What are your thoughts on dating a friend’s ex?
Do not want your friend to be in your ex’s life? Do you feel jealous and extreme anger when you picture them together? Are you trying to make your ex feel jealous? If your answer to the questions is yes, then probably you are still in love with your ex.
Our mutual friend warned her about his pattern too but she was adamant. Cue tons of social media posts about how ‘in love’ she was with him. I remained silent, secretly raged but kept it cool on the surface. Bearing that in mind, it can be useful to focus on yourself until you are in such a mental position that you can happily see your friend and your ex together. No one will put your feelings first if you don’t, so remember that to feel like you are ok with their fledgling relationship, you may have to take a little time out of your friendship first. In that case, “better to shoot your shot and chance making it a bit awkward than to not shoot your shot and spend the rest of your life wondering ‘What if?
Have they attempted to date a friend in the past? Do they have a policy of never hooking up with friends because it gets too messy? If you don’t like what you hear, then you probably shouldn’t attempt to date them. Going forward, it’s worth it to clearly communicate with your buddies that you don’t think it’s appropriate to chase after your ex. It may also be possible to reconcile with your best friend depending on how long you were seeing your ex for. I was able to reconcile with one friend, who I am still glad to keep to this day.
But if you genuinely feel that your friend and your ex are meant for each other and that their relationship could work out, then there is no harm in giving them your blessings. This is especially in cases where your friend is actually someone whom you value a lot and your ex is actually not a bad person. Many people soar in their careers after a breakup because they have more time and are more focused on their work. There is no need to sit and sulk because your friend is dating your ex, turn it into motivation to do something better with your life. Just for the sake of making your ex jealous or your friend uncomfortable, you should not get into a rebound relationship. And definitely avoid the “my best friend is dating my ex, so I too should hook up with their ex to give them a taste of their own medicine” mindset.
My best friend had also moved on, and was dating someone new. It wasn’t like she was telling me to avoid him and never speak to him again. Eventually, Sam entered into a relationship with someone else a year or so after the breakup. While Sam and I continued to remain friendly, we spoke less after the breakup. When a new romantic relationship began developing, she became confused as to what the next steps should be moving forward.
Have a conversation with your ex
We know it’s very hard to accept your friend dating your ex but if you can be patient and sensible then you could avoid a lot of heartburn. Each party is Xmeets entitled to move on, no matter whom they choose to do it with. Though your ex may have hurt you, there is a reason you were in a relationship with them.
Had you got involved, you would have turned them against you. And that would have complicated things and made them worse. Your friend should never have dated your ex behind your back.
Tips To Cope When Your Friend Is Dating Your Ex
In his message, Sam told me he was watching the exact same series I was, and needed someone to discuss it with. I was genuinely happy for Sam and came to the realisation that we were probably not going to speak to each other much now that he had moved on. Plus, because I was dating someone else at the time, she had nothing to worry about. As he was dating my best friend, though, I still made it a point to hang out with him and maintained friendly relations.
Reading can help you connect the dots along with journaling. Of course, you’ll manage to answer some of these questions as time passes, but if you want to speed up the process use a journal to collect your thoughts. The second step is reflecting on whys and whats of the situation. You have the facts, but I’m sure you still have questions at this point that you need answered. Once you’ve got your list, put it somewhere you’ll see it often. It would suck to read, but as time went on it sucked less and less.
To forgive them both, take a piece of paper and write every single thing they did to hurt you. Forgiving yourself comes from accepting the situation, and reflecting on it which is why you do those first. To completely be free of the situation, you need to forgive 3 people. You’ll need a complete picture of the situation, so you can forgive all the parties involved and be free of any pain or suffering. There’s a 3 step process to contenting yourself with any negative situation you find yourself in.
They might continue to be friends as long as the friendship does not harm you. You can also be in touch with your ex’s friends. It’s not really possible to cut off relationships and take sides because you broke up.